you cant have darkness without light

When we first experience the immense pain of the grief of losing a child, it is a crushing pain. A pain that takes your breath away. A pain from which it seems there is no escape. The darkness closes in and there seems as if there will never be light again. Unfortunately, there is no way around this pain. the only way to heal is to make room for the pain. Our mind tends to want to constrict around the pain. It wants to hold on to it. It wants to trick us into thinking there is only darkness, but you can't have darkness with out knowing light and you can't have pain without knowing healing. The key is to try to make room for the pain in your mind. Try to sit with it in silence and imagine your mind making space for the pain while also allowing space for healing. It is very hard to do at first, but with practice the more space you can create for the pain the more relief you will begin to notice from the pain. The more you make room for the darkness the more light you will begin to see again. Some people feel that feeling joy or moments of laughter will cause them to forget their child. The opposite is true. Holding on to the pain just creates suffering which does not allow for healing or light to enter the darkness. Our children are now beings of light and the only way to reconnect with them is by letting light into our lives again. The more we hold on to suffering and darkness the farther away we are from them. Make space for the darkness and begin to let in the light, that is what our children want us to do.