Early in our grief, tears seem to come in waves. We can't seem to control them Sometimes they seem to show up at the worst times. I have heard people say that they just wish that they could stop crying. For other people, there is anger mixed in with tears. Crying is a normal reaction to the trauma we have just experienced when we lost our child that we loved so much. The feelings that we are experiencing are justified in acknowledging our new reality and the pain that comes along with it. The pain is there to remind us that something is wrong and that healing must take place. Just like the pain we experience from a physical wound, the initial pain is the worst, but as we begin to take the steps towards healing the wound, the pain is not as intense over time. If we neglect the wound, it becomes infected, which causes more pain and suffering and can result in a longer recovery time or even a worsening of our overall physical health. The same is true for our psychological health. We must not ignore the the pain and anger and other uncomfortable emotions that we may feel as we begin to heal from our loss. We must find space and time to sit with them. The more we are able to make room for these feelings and not try to push them away. The more we gradually feel a lessening of the intensity of the pain over time. If you find that you are not able to cope with the intensity of the feelings on your own, please seek professional help to do so. It is so important to know that you don't have to go through this alone. Sometimes it may help to nave a companion with you on this difficult healing journey.
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