The story of Satsujo

This is a story from the Buddhist Tradition about a grandmother who lost her granddaughter. She cried so much over the death of her granddaughter that and old man from her neighborhood came to give her counsel. He asked her why she was wailing so much? He told her he thought she should lighten up a bit. Satsujo responded: You bald headed fool, what do you know? My tears and weeping are better for my granddaughter than incense, flowers, or lamps.  In other words it is natural for anyone who loses a child to weep and it is not for others to tell them when to stop shedding tears. The tears at first are a sign of the depth of love we have for our children, but are also cathartic in nature as we sit with and make room for our grief. Everyone does this at their own pace, There is no time table involved. However, if after some time with sitting with our grief we don't begin to feel a lightening of our grief and it begins to impact our every day functioning, it may be time to seek professional help so we don't become stuck in our grief.